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Can a Divorce Mediator Really Be Neutral?

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The short answer? Yes! A divorce mediator can easily stay neutral because they are rigorously trained to see the sides of each individual and sympathetic to the needs of both. Mediators focus on the issues that each individual wishes to address concerning the matters most important to them. Concerns such as child custody, spousal support, property, financial matters and more, can be discussed with the mediator who will guide the couple to a peaceful resolution.

At a minimum, the divorce process will be very stressful. Choosing to involve a mediator can greatly reduce the stress of this emotional process. Mediation meetings take place in a setting that can reduce stress, anxiety and can help to keep your emotions in check so you can make smart decisions. Mediation can help you avoid having discussions about the personal aspects of your life in a courtroom where decisions are made for you, not with you. Further, mediation is very cost-effective compared to litigation, and avoiding the cost of litigation will relieve even more of the divorce stress.

Working with a mediator also saves the children in the home from the stress of a courtroom setting. This in itself is very valuable and can make the divorce process a less traumatic experience. The divorce mediator typically has much more flexibility in the scheduling of times that they can meet with clients in order to resolve important issues concerning the divorce. Multiple court appearances can be replaced by just one day with a mediator!

Discussions with the mediator, in a private setting, one-on-one, also manages the tensions that can arise when talking about important issues. While the mediator doesn’t make decisions for you, they are skilled at resolving conflicts and clearing the lines of communication between disagreeing spouses. They keep the discussions about issues such as child custody and the dividing of assets on track. They basically help each spouse voice their own needs and act as a referee, so each party feels that they are heard. Their tools can help individuals avoid unpleasant moments when discussing these highly emotional issues, making things much smoother.

When combined with a Certified Financial Divorce Specialist (CFDS), the mediation process can be very instrumental in assuring the financial well-being of both parties is achieved. Since mediators cannot provide financial advice, the CFDS makes certain that the important financial questions are asked and answered. Everything from tax implications, retirement costs, ways to improve cash flow for support payments and so much more. The CFDS will list the specific benefits and drawbacks of all settlement options and advise you on the most advantageous asset divisions taking the uncertainty out of financial concerns.

Your divorce process will be an emotionally intense and highly stressful period. It makes logical decision-making difficult. At such a critical time, avoiding potential financial disaster is crucial: through professional and proper guidance concerning financial matters, your CFDS and mediator can help ensure financial security for you both as you move into the next phase of your lives.

For help with recommendations on a qualified divorce mediator, Please refer to the ‘Our Partners’ resource on our website.

About Lindsay Sparrow

MBA, CFP, CFDS

Lindsay has worked as a Certified Financial Planner & Investment Advisor for the past two decades. Lindsay is a transition expert who does her best work when clients are going through a significant life change. As a Certified Financial Divorce Specialist, Lindsay makes sure her clients walk away with what is rightfully theirs. 

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